Bound

A few months ago, on a gray, thirty-five degree afternoon in Detroit, Tom was sipping on a Reds Rye IPA by the fire at Founders Brewery with his friend Bill Boyle, a former teacher and administrator who is now the executive director of a company that helps organizations (like schools) become more equitable, restorative spaces. When the topic shifted to spirituality, Bill flipped the script and said that he was “religious not spiritual.” Bill broke it all down to the basics. The Latin root of religion means “to be bound.” Bill said that he’s bound to his Zen Buddhist practice, a discipline that leads to love and liberation – for himself and others.

Bill was dropping some really compelling wisdom. In these chaotic, confusing times, we need to be bound and anchored to Something Else. Unfortunately, “organized religion” in America is often weighed down with so much traumatic, dramatic and dogmatic baggage. The guilt and obligation can be so oppressive. On the other hand, “spirituality” can feel like a slippery, vague, kind of non-committal concept. Our Buddhist brother Bill speaks a slightly different dialect, but we are bound together by core convictions. Above all else, we both pivot on a love paradox boldly proclaiming that the only thing we get to keep is what we give away. 

Religion also shares the same root word as ligament, which binds muscle to bone in our bodies. Early this summer, Lindsay broke her ankle (and tore some ligaments too) jumping into the pool at the end of the reception at her sister's wedding. After her first day at physical therapy, she got a thick packet of exercises to do at home. She proclaimed, "This is going to be a full-time job!" When we lose our religion, or leave our religion - when we tear our soul ligament - it really is like a full-time job. We've got to do the intentional work of healing and reconstructing it - or replacing it altogether. It doesn't just happen. If we don’t do this crucial work, then we limp along with whatever convenient crutch we can find, a kind of default religion, which is usually an American supremacy story that makes “success” the ultimate goal. 

The more we listen to other people's stories, the more we are realizing that our society is experiencing an epidemic of torn soul ligaments. We also lack the spaces to repair and restore what binds us to a Power greater than ourselves. Over the next year or so, we will be devoting a lot more time traveling around the country, curating small, covid-safe gatherings dedicated to healing from the torn ligament of supremacist and fundamentalist faith. These workshops and retreats are designed for those of us who have been deconstructing Evangelical and conservative Catholic Christianity for a while and do not feel like we fit in ordinary “faith” categories. So many of us yearn for Something Else. A spirituality marked by depth, meaning, intimacy and inclusivity. 

We will circle up to share experiences that are painful and traumatic. We will also envision what soul growth and spiritual maturity might look like moving forward. We will explore approaches to God, Jesus and the Bible that are inclusive, liberating, loving, humble and open-hearted. The groups will be small - five to ten folks - so that there will be enough space and time for sharing experiences and reflecting together. 

We kicked off this "listening tour" with a gathering of former fundamentalist Christians at Riverside Park in Detroit in early September. We did not know any of these precious people. We found them on Facebook! Tom wrote this post to two different groups (The New Evangelicals and Raising Children UnFundamentalist): 

Hey y'all! I am looking to connect and collaborate with post-Evangelicals in Southeast Michigan. My partner and I live in Detroit and we want to conspire with others to start something for folks (like us) recovering from Christian fundamentalism. Let's get together! Comment here or email me at tommyairey@gmail.com. 

Fifteen people responded, eager to gather with others on a similar spiritual journey. We circled up at the park and shared our experiences together. Many lamented the unwillingness to fully affirm LGBTQ+ people just as they are. A couple women chronicled the details of annual anti-abortion sermons at their old churches. One guy said that he left his church when he finally realized that it was a breeding ground for white nationalism. We talked about losing friends when we left the church. Some folks want nothing to do with "god" or "religion." Others are leaning into the long, lonely prophetic tradition of love and liberation that goes all the way back to Jesus of Nazareth. Together, we are working to heal the old evangelical pain and trauma. We now have an email thread to organize future events! If you are interested in hosting something in your neck of the woods, holler at us. We would love to roll through and facilitate something. 

We've been floored by so much beauty, goodness and truth this summer. Here are a few highlights!

We celebrated the beautiful wedding of Steve and Kristen Roseman 

(Lindsay's sister and Kardia Kaiomene Board President). 

We had so much fun with the niece and nephews!

Tom drove out to Waterloo, Ontario to visit former theology professor and 

badass activist Oz Cole-Arnal, who is battling Parkinson's and cancer.

We were invited to the final day of the We The Youth summer camp. It is held every year in Idlewild, Michigan, a small town three hours north of Detroit that was the most popular summer vacation spot for Black Americans during the Jim Crow era.

We celebrated the 28th birthday of our dear friend Kateri Boucher on Belle Isle.

We stood and marched in solidarity with UAW auto workers and with 

NDS, an organization of public defenders and social workers in Detroit. 

Kardia Kaiomene Board Member Chris Dollar took Tom out to 

San Onofre for a (very short) long-boarding session.

The Core City Strong won a huge battle against a wealthy white developer 

who was trying to build a concrete crusher facility in a Black-majority neighborhood. The organizing continues as we attempt to proactively change zoning designations.